We Didn’t Steal Your Influence

I really don’t know what happened the past week or two, but I’ve written two different of song lyric parodies.

First, I banged out the latest edition of the Serially Sporadic newsletter. I was going to write a bit about changes with influencer marketing, and then the idea for the headline “The End of the Influence” came up, and then I had to rewrite the whole song. I’ve included it below, but there’s a lot more in the newsletter.

And then… I was scrolling through hundreds and hundreds of Facebook apps. I wrote a tribute. The better you know “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” the more you’ll appreciate way too many little nods to alliteration, rhyme schemes, and other rhetorical devices.

Meanwhile…

The End of the Influence

Remember when the days were long
And budgets seemed to go sky high
Didn’t have a care in the world
With every brand just standing by
When “happily ever after” fails
And we’ve poisoned ourselves by our fairy tales
The FTC will be tough as nails
And we know the reason why

Cause I know the path where we all went
That touched every media plan
We sat and watched follower counts roll by
And the clicks blew in with the wind
You can lay your head down on your desk
And let your hair fall out around you
Offer up your best defense
Cause this is the end
This is the end of the influence

Oh beautiful, for Instagram
But now Facebook is threatening
They’re beating back malicious bots
When they saw who they helped elect our king
Armchair strategists often fail
And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
The FTC’s lawyers sort all details
Since we all had to lie

But I know a place where we can go
To wash away our sins
We’ll set up smarter KPIs
With metrics that help us win
Just pick your head up from your desk
And let La Croix flow all around you
The challenge will be immense
But this is the end
The end of the influence

Who knows how long this will last
We need to move so far, so fast
But somewhere back there in the dust
The corners that we all have cut
We need to remember this
So baby, give one final kiss
To impression counts – now look
It’s time to say goodbye

Just pick your head up from your desk
Let Macallan flow all around you
The challenge will be intense
But this is the end
This is the end of the influence

(With apologies to Don Henley.)