A friend of mine, Cara, remarked today, how even people living under a rock know it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and we don’t need any more reminders, thank you very much.

Yet some people living under rocks may not get the message.

In light of that, I have a new marketing strategy: Rockvertising.

I will emblazon your message underneath rocks. I’ll find rocks matching the demographic profiles of your target audience (fun fact: igneous rocks work best for those elusive 18-35 year old males). I’ll even mix media, spreading your message underneath every size rock from pebbles to boulders.

Contact me to be the first rockvertiser ever.

And please also contact me if you already own a patent for rockvertising. I swear, I’m not infringing. I hope I’m just making this up.