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Baby Name Optimization (BNO) – 10 Tips for Expectant Parents

You can’t make this up. Rather than strange but true, it’s crazy but rational. From Boston.com (via Cara):

According to The Wall Street Journal, some expectant parents ‘‘are
beginning to Google prospective baby names to ensure that their kids
won’t face too much competition in securing a high search rank.’’
What’s the perfect baby shower present for a soon-to-be newborn who has
already been search-engine optimized? Buy the Web domain that matches
their name.

Why stop there? Once you’re comfortable with your choice, here are 10 tips for Baby Name Optimization:

  1. Write a press release the day your baby’s born with the baby’s name in the headline and optimize that.
  2. Buy all potential domain name misspellings of your baby’s name. If it’s a girl, buy versions of the last name of any potential suitor you have in mind.
  3. Film the birth, and tag every second of it, then syndicate it to dozens of video sites. At least one will have to be around by your kid’s communion or bar mitzvah, right?
  4. Blog as if you’re the baby. Then, when your kid is old enough to blog, blog as if you’re his or her therapist.
  5. Tag your baby.
  6. Create a Wikipedia entry for your baby. If it’s rejected, claim a parent is Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton, David Arquette, Oprah, or all of the above.
  7. Digg your baby.
  8. Googlebomb your baby’s domain around the phrase "world’s cutest baby," "future Nobel laureate," or, if you are a celebrity already, "E! feature in the making"
  9. Be sure to update meta tags every so often, as your kid’s prom date would be horrified to see "spitting up" and "potty training" as some of his or her most relevant keywords.
  10. Every few years, change your child’s name to something new that has less search competition – though beware… this will bring entirely new meaning to "your baby’s in the sandbox."
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